Addicted

You're not addicted

You just use it everyday

You're not addicted 

You just tell the pipe your problems

Your not addicted 

Your minds just never quiet without it

You're not addicted 

But it unwinds your muscles when you sleep

You're not addicted

But you scraped your mothers money together

To get it for two years

You're not addicted

But it eats your stress your cancer your regret

You're not addicted 

Not physically

But you itch and ache and whine

Throw bottles kick doors

Throw your physicality around

When it's gone

You're not addicted

I am

To helping you

Slamming my body against a boulder up a mountain

I'm addicted to the pain of loving you

My desk

25 May 2019
Last year was a messy one

Saving him

he bends

sinks deep into a

womb pose

like a kitten

claws tucked to chest

he believes himself agile

in this state

tense waiting

curled over my shoulder

his sliding hands

I breathe

he breathes

I cut him at the knees

but only in my mind

(cold blades wield bloody

at my white dainty flesh)

I stamp at the white butterflies

that desperate flee

his radioactive glow

let them die with me

I pin them to my white walls

I paint portraits of their corpses

all while he eats like

digs like a mad dog

foaming my mouth

gurgling and spitting

at my insides

When will my last

drink of water be?

25 September 2018

Queerness and me

This is my end of year exhibition, a compilation of work I completed from June till November in my first year course at Michaelis School of Fine Art. I had six subjects breaking down this semester into mediums and genres of thought.

Before setting up

 

After setting up

Charcoal life drawings

  

Newspaper and magazine collages

Woodcut series

Phone camera and pinhole photography

Acrylic painting and magazine collage

A ball clay and carboard maquette

 

And, finally, a new media proposal for an animated short film.

Solace in a memory, a poem, a moment

I have wanted to be visible for so long. I have been communing with a strange ensemble of voices within me. They were not all kind, they are not all kind. I want to find a harmony, speaking for them all.

2019. 08. 24.